What About the Spouse Part 2 Who to Blame

The big day comes.  After months of preparation your heart is thumping in expectation of your amazing future with your soon to be spouse.  Walking down the isle is exhilarating as the music plays and smiles are coming from every direction as your friends and loved ones look on to support you in this big step.

The wedding takes place and all the hopes and dreams for your future seem so close.  The honeymoon, the first year of love and getting to know each other.

But, then at some point tragedy hits when pain starts to radiate across your loved one face.  Smiles turn to cries of pain.  Joy and hope seem to fade away slowly.  What happened to all the plans for the future?

This is not what you thought life would be like.  This is not the future you had planned.

So, now what.

The questions follow -

How did this happen?
When did this start?
Why?
Who did this to my loved one?
Will my spouse ever get better?

I think we all want to find someone to blame.  Was it a doctor?  Was it a car wreck?  Who did this to my beloved?

But, sometimes we can't find the answers.  Sometimes there is no one to blame.

What if we can find the person who caused it?  What would we do?  What would we say to them?

I knew who caused my husband's pain.  It was a doctor.  It was his fault.  He robbed years of our life together.  Because of his mistake my husband suffered for years with the most excruciating pain known to man.  I lost my husband.  He was swallowed by pain and there I was, alone.  I had no one to help me with the kids.  I had no one to comfort me.  I had no one to hold me.  I had no one to kiss me. My husband was alive, but not there.

Yes, I found someone to blame.  It was the doctor.

The anger welled up inside me.  Oh, how I wanted to go to that doctor and let him know what he had done.  But, I didn't.  Instead I did something even harder, I forgave him.

Forgive.

Forgive the doctor.

Forgive yourself.

Forgive your spouse.

Set yourself free from the anger caused by Pain.

It has stolen enough from you.

If you don't have anyone to blame.  You can't find the cause you still need to forgive.  Forgive. Let go of the anger.

The sadness and disappointment might stay.  The sorrow and loneliness may linger.  But the anger will go and you can be set free to love your spouse and help them.

Be free.